Matchmaking 101

Alfonso P. Wallabee & Basil

Alfonso P. Wallabee & Basil

So you’re looking for another cat. But there are so many, and you’re just not sure which one – how to begin?

First thing to do is to look at both your reasons for getting a cat, followed closely by whether you already have cats and need to match to their personalities, and if not, whether you’re getting just one cat or a pair.

Thinking about the future and the fact you’re making a 5-15 year commitment, depending on the age of the cat you choose, goes without saying. Rescues and Shelters obviously want to avoid the revolving door syndrome of animals being adopted out only to be returned a few years later when lifestyles change, so give careful thought to what the future holds for you and your family when you consider what age cat to bring into the home. If you’re retiring in five years and plan to travel, there’s nothing wrong with welcoming a geezer into your home now who may only have a few years left! That’s a few wonderful loving years he might not otherwise have!

If you have no other pets and only want one, you are the dream adopter. While many people think that cats get lonely if you’re gone during the day, many Siamese are purrfectly happy to be the Queen or King of the household. In our experience, females in particular do very well as the only cat. However, only cat situations ONLY work if there is ample human attention. Siamese are NOT a breed well suited for just being left alone for hours on end. If that is your lifestyle, then a pair is much more likely to be successful. (And kittens? They do much better in pairs as they learn critical behavioral skills from each other).

Siamese females, seals and torties in particular, often have very Diva personalities. While Divas can certainly coexist with other cats very well, in the right situation, they often do extremely well as the only cat with the right person. That person would be one who wants a very tight bond with a fairly supreme being, a feline being that is likely to be challenging, moody, independent, intelligent, demanding, easily put out when things don’t go her way, a bit spicey, and often a great conversationalist. They also know your routine, expect you to follow it, don’t normally take well to changes, and let you know, in no uncertain terms, if things aren’t acceptable. They’ll make a point, and not always in the most appropriate ways – the new husband who doesn’t like cats may find his briefcase soaked; the couple who closes this gal out of the bedroom for some private time may find a present waiting outside their bedroom door.

Of course, there are many, many of us that have had numerous females at the same time quite successfully. Sometimes you get bonding, sometimes you get coexistence (not always peaceful), and sometimes you get down and out hatred. The latter seems to occur frequently when you have two gals, similar in a dominant or confident personality style, close in age. When both vie for the throne, all hell can break loose, and no matter how many litterboxes you have, it just ain’t enough. And people think spayed females won’t spray. Been there, done that.

Choose a male, however, and you’re likely to have a completely different experience. No, they may not be top of their class, but they sure are on top of your lap, and often anyone else’s lap that visits. Males are often the easy going, happy go lucky, go with the flow type cat that aren’t nearly as likely to get their nose bent out of joint. Will they slot into any household? Not necessarily, that somewhat depends on who else is in that household, furry and otherwise. As long as you don’t have two dominant / similarly outgoing male personalities close in age vieing for top spot on the totem pole, you can have a wonderfully bonded pair of cats. You also are much more likely to find a purrsonality that teaches children the wonders of Siamese ownership, for they often adore their young charges, following them everywhere, playing fetch, sleeping on the bed, happy with whatever is offered, easy with the mild chaos that can occur in a home with small kids. They tend to adapt to change with a bit less concern, are often the ‘meeters and greeters’ at the front door, and if you’re absolutely set on a lap cat, a male is probably the way to go. However, err with two or more boys, same age, both challenging each other, and you’ll be investing in Nature’s Miracle.

So is it an only cat? If so, choose your personality preference, study your points, think about your lifestyle, and ask lots of questions. Whichever sex you choose, remember Siamese are very people oriented, and do expect equal billing in the household – they are way more than ‘just the cat’.

But what if you have other felines? New additions become a little trickier. Adding cats is a geometric experience, it’s not linear. Each addition has the potential to rock the hierarchy already in existence. So plan carefully.

First of all, consider your reasons. Are you searching out a family addition because you have one cat that is very lonely? Perhaps they’ve recently lost a friend, or perhaps they’re the ‘third wheel’? Are you looking for something that you are not getting from your existing cat-relationship? Or maybe you’re one of the few looking to help one of the less adoptable cats be comfortable for whatever time they have left?

Obviously, if you’re working to match a cat with one existing cat, you need a cat friendly cat. Opposite sex is often the best way to go, even if the cat you have now previously coexisted with same sex. Bringing in a new feline is challenging at best, and you don’t want to displace or usurp your existing kitty’s position. Going with opposite sex allows you to pair a similar personality, without challenging the dominant position. Think about the personality characteristics of your current feline friend. Are they outgoing and confident? Playful and busy? Active and curious? Then they need another cat displaying similar traits. Are they shy? A bit frightened of new things? Do they hide or show other insecurities? If so, be sure to bring in an easy going, cat-loving friend, who will seek and offer affection. The match to be careful of is a very dominant, confident or pushy cat who may well take advantage of one with a fearful nature, resulting in a pariah cat situation. And please remember – just because cats are siblings, that can mean nothing. For all of you that have siblings, think about whether you’d get along with them 24/7. Not always.

If you have a household of cats, consider carefully before you add another one. Remember the geometric thing. It’s true. Additions (and losses) within the household can force a revamp of the hierarchical structure, and there have been numerous cases of one of the cats (not necessarily the new one) becoming the victim kitty when this shift occurs. Once a victim kitty situation develops, it’s very difficult to correct, for the ‘fear smell’ emitted by the frightened one can actually trigger aggression by the others.

So what age or sex is the easiest on all? The popular answer to this is kittens, because kittens don’t yet know their place in the world and everyone likes kittens, including most adult cats (geezers can be another story all together). While introducing a kitten may seem easy as pie, you’re often only postponing the inevitable. Remember that much research indicates kittens get their personalities primarily from the father, and this personality doesn’t emerge in full until they reach sexual maturity, at or about 8 months to a year. Kittens can be considered time bombs waiting to go off – when they get older, their dominant traits may take charge and challenge those with whom they previously coexisted. Hence why if you look in the public shelters, you’ll see a predominance of cats in the one to two year range – cats who, when that personality did come to light, no longer fit the picture.

A word of warning to those with Geezer cats in their household who plan to introduce a kitten. Geezers have earned their spot in the world. They want that sunny window, their bowl of kibbles, and some a quiet existence. What they usually don’t want is a pesky bundle of fur pouncing on their tail, climbing all over them, eating their food; relentless energy constantly disrupting their afternoon nap. Many a family has found that their geezer actually goes into decline with the addition of a very active or young cat, as the stress of it is just too much.

On the other hand, introducing a Geezer is often one of the easiest things to do. Geezers are normally past the point of worrying about a spot on the totem pole, they simply want a spot to relax. They normally don’t have any politics, are just looking for a little love and attention, and the ‘respect the elder’ philosophy emanates as they amble through their new home tracking the sunbeam.

Please remember that more is not always better. We love our kitties like crazy. We know how much time they need from us, how much they can cost if they get sick, how much of an impact they can have on our environment. Be realistic about what you can do, and don’t overdo it, for everyone suffers in the end.

Finally, know that these are all generalizations, based on our 20 some years of matching 12,000 cats to every type of home imaginable, with a very low return rate. That doesn’t mean the exceptions don’t exist. We have all, myself included, had situations which defy the norm – two females same age tightly bonded for instance. So there’s no doubt it can sometimes work. The key? Take the time to learn about the personality of a new cat or cats, and consider the match to any existing felines before you commit.

At The Crack of Dawn

I take a moment. To be thankful, to be appreciative, to enjoy the little things. The sunrise out my window. The pooch still snuggled in her bed. It’s Friday. Life can always be better, but I have coffee, and it’s good.

Life at the Rescue – 2006 – by Howard Beakman, VA1000

One can never say that life here is dull. Ever watched someone on a trapeze? Up and down with a pit in your stomach, then butterflies, nervous yet excited, followed by that whoosh whoosh, back down and then up you climb again. So goes our days.

There’s a bunch of us here. How many, people often ask. We lose count. Kind of like a revolving door most of the time, and you don’t bother to count. A few in, a few out. The home crew stays relatively steady, but the ones considered transient? So many new whiskers to twitch. Maw and Paw do well. The cats we remember, they say. The adopters? They all look the same. I can see their point. I was never big on looks anyway. Now smells, that’s a different story. Specific looks don’t do much for us felines. Shapes, however, is another thing all together. Take Toko Thai for example. He likes tall blondes. And Annie? She likes wide people. Me? I’ll take anyone who has cheese Danish.

Anyway, back to the Center. I’m never sure what to think about life at the Center. So many comings and goings. But compared with the previous digs, at least there is variety.

We have two living facilities here now – the House, commonly known as the Geezer Ward, and the Rescue Center itself. Just a stone’s throw from each other, the House has us permanent residents – those of us who fit the mold of unadoptable for whatever reason. Then the Rescue Center, hosting up to fifty furries at a time, all hoping for a new home. I live in the Geezer Ward.

In 1998, when Meowm opened the doors to nomad Meezers, they all stayed in the House. Meowm hadn’t quite grasped the concept of rescue and release, and the number of permanent residents increased within a short few weeks from two to six. Take Sapphire for example. She was VA0002. Her mom was moving to California and couldn’t take her with. She came and visited with Meowm who did what she tends to do – rambled on and on about her idea of a Rescue and all that was involved – without letting the poor lady get a word in edgewise. Hours later, the woman left, and Sapphire sprawled happily on the couch (she’s happy just about anywhere provided there’s a food bowl within reach). It was only after the fact that Meowm realized she had been so busy yabbering that she had neglected to inform this lady she was going to find Sapphire a new home. And no, she had not gotten the aldy’s address or forwarding number either (told you she was talking too much!) Feeling it was not right to rehome her without the lady’s okay, Sapphire, the lump, stayed.

Who was VA0001 you might ask? No, not me I’m afraid – I waited to make my appearance until Meowm and Paw had this Rescue thing down pat (yours truly is VA1000). Ming was the first. His family has gone through a divorce and left the trailer, and Ming, to their own devices. By the time he had been found, however, he had been so long without proper care that his borderline diabetes had gone off the charts. Meowm got two lessons for the price of one with him – Rescue wasn’t going to be cheap, and there weren’t always happy endings.

By the time we got to number 0003, she was getting the hang of it. JoJo, though a far cry for a Siamese, found a home not 45 minutes from here with a nice couple who weren’t allowed to leave until they promised to be on the Board of Directors that Meowm needed to create so she could meet IRS requirements.

Ahh, those early lessons. The next three arrivals taught us that not every cat with a home lives comfortably, and not every cat is social. Responding to a phone call from a man whose wife had been hospitalized, we went on a Meezer hunt in the wilds of the Virginia mountains. Windy roads led to what could be described as not much more than a goat path, flooded by recent storms – water cascading down the mountain sides. In sneakers and shorts, mini Bean (age 8), Grandma Muddles and Meowm were the picture of naivety as they were led to a sagging abandoned shed. It didn’t take a keen sense of smell to note that this would be a memorable experience. Forcing the door open, inches of cat feces blocking the way, the 6×8 room was a mass of flying fur – up the walls, across the ceiling, back down again. The room was completely empty except for some old French fry dishes with week old food. Waterbugs paddled happily in a bowl of pea green water. Were there Meezers? Yes, quite a few, but it was impossible to get a count – every movement brought wild panic to their eyes and they launched like rubber band torpedoes off every surface. If you could have seen Meowm standing there with her mouth agape, carrier helplessly in hand – it was quite a sight. Last time she went anywhere questionable in shorts, with her young daughter, elderly mother, without gloves or plan, let me tell you. I think humans call this behavior clueless.

Howard Beakman, VA1000

Why Rescue?

Original picture

Ok, so I’m not the perfect cat. I’m not just right – I might be too big, or too small; too vocal, or too quiet. I may also have some medical issues, and I don’t have my complete medical history with me to explain why. I may have been exposed to parasites: worms, fleas, ticks, or ear mites. I may have some kind of intestinal upsets, and I may not have perfect stools every time.
Behaviorally, I have a little baggage. I may not be able to walk right into your home perfectly well adjusted. I may take issue if there is another cat, dog or child, no matter what age or sex and may show my fear in a variety of ways. I may not love everyone immediately and I may not do exactly what you want in the beginning. I may not be able to adapt to any situation. I may get confused about the litter box, and might even make a mistake, no matter what litter you use, where the pan is, or how often you clean it.
Emotionally? I may have some idiosyncrasies. I may nip, swat, hiss, put my ears back, hide, cower or tremble. I may look at you with fear, and distrust, and concern. It might take several months, or even a year before I can begin to trust again.

I am one of society’s throwaways.

Is this the cat you’re looking for?

If not, maybe you should look elsewhere. Please don’t ask to take me home, because I have already been rejected far too many times already and would rather stay at the shelter than be given one more reason to mistrust people again.

I am one of a group of cats. A group that has been dumped in the shelters, booted out the doors, kicked, hit, beaten, yelled at, shot, cursed, thrown from moving cars, left to fend on our own. A group of cats that has learned that humans are NOT kind and society is NOT fair and life is NOT comfortable. A group of cats that didn’t have good prenatal care, that don’t know where our next meal was coming from, that have lived outside through hot and cold and dug through garbage to find enough to eat. We are the cats that have been flea bitten and worm ridden and burned with hot oil. We are the cats who have been hit by cars and left for dead; who have swallowed stones and ribbons and had nothing but intestinal upsets; who have loose stools or who have stools that are so hard they can barely pass. We have been told we were too loud, too messy, or we didn’t match the new furniture. We have been chased by dogs, had our tails pulled by kids, and been bullied by other cats. Some of us have never known a litter box, let alone a clean one. We have watched our loving family drive off one day without a backward glance after 15 years; we have been replaced after ten years with a new puppy. We look at you with big round eyes full of fear and terror, and occasionally hatred, and yes, deep down, with a little hope. We are the cats in Rescue.

Why, then, would anyone possibly want one of us?

The reasons are endless.

We need you. We deserve to be loved, to have a second chance, to learn how to trust again. We have been at the mercy of our surroundings; it is up to you to care for us. You, as part of the race that has caused this overpopulation of animals; you, who as part of the species, some of whose members have mistreated and misplaced these deserving creatures, owe it to us to care. You should be setting examples for the next generation – that this should not be a throwaway society that we can and should be doing something about it. We can be your FAMILY members, members who share in your joys, your sorrows, your misfortunes and your luck. We are here when you need someone to talk to, to comfort, and to be comforted. We lick your tears and pat your face and snuggle under your chin. We like you for you, and we ask so little from you. A pat, a scratch, the toss of a ball, a kind word, we repay you with loyalty and adoration and faithful friendship.
You may have to earn it, this is true, and we may be so damaged by our previous experiences that we’ll never be “The Perfect” cat, but the appreciation that emanates from our eyes; the love that we share when we realize we are safe, secure, and home forever, is a gift that cannot be bought. We have seen rough times, yes, but if we are willing to give you a second chance, why won’t you give us one?

Frog Love

Frog Love

Don’t ask me why, but I love frogs. This isn’t an early childhood thing, as a matter of fact it came about within the last 20 years, when I became really serious about gardening. We have a small garden pond and every year, it is inhabited by one giant frog and sometimes, if we’re lucky, an offspring or two. We put a heater in the pond in winter to keep it from freezing over, and the frog(s) (or their offspring) show up again in the spring. When I found one deceased in the pond one year, I was sad for days. Another year during fall clean up I found one hunkered down under piles of leaves near the pond, and felt awful about disturbing him. I’ve gotten some great pictures over the years; some years he/she is quite tame, and lets me get quite close, other years not so much. Don’t know what it is about them, but they are just so spectacular!

Swiss Meringue Buttercream

So today I was going to make a Cardamon Cake with Espresso Buttercream frosting. Not even sure what cardamon tastes like, so a true experiment. But the frosting calls for FIVE sticks of butter. Thinking of that much butter all in one place is just giving me the eebie jeebies (what a great word. Did I spell it right?) So change of plan – going with a Raspberry Almond Cupcake. Stay tuned for a picture! (I’m still tempted by the sound of the Cardamon Cake – maybe I can find a different Espresso Buttercream frosting recipe).

Okay, so here’s the Swiss Meringue Buttercream rant (this is the type of frosting on the cupcakes). I’ve never tried to make it before because, well, it seemed difficult. It wasn’t so much difficult, as it was tricky – the trickiest part being ‘mix until the meringue and the butter emulsify into buttercream, which may be 10 minutes’. Well, after 10 minutes it had souped and curdled and changed textures a few times, but was it emulsified? Hard to tell. The good news is I did get the sugar completely melted (Swiss Buttercream starts with egg whites and sugar melted over the stove until all the sugar is melted (this is key), then whipped into peaks). Last week we made an attempt at a Lemon Meringue Cake where the Meringue (started out the same way – melting sugar with egg whites) became marshmallow because I didn’t cook it long enough on top of the stove (still tasty, but definitely not meringue). The end result is certainly creamy, and while I stlil need to brave French and Italian Buttercream, I am leaning towards being an American gal and liking the normal ‘light and airy with a slight crust to it’ buttercream that good old fashioned buttercream has. (This did pipe nicely, though, don’t you think? Especially since I still have one hand in a cast!) The verdict? It was much less sweet than the American Buttercream. It is one of the better ones for taking up jam; the jam flavor (and color) really showed through. It has a lighter pillowy texture to it. Not bad for a much less sweet but good subtle taste frosting. Love to hear comments if you have tried Swiss Meringue Buttercream (making or eating!)

Swiss Meringue Frosting

Best. Dog. Ever.

Ziggy

I have had multiple dogs in my life – as a matter of fact, when we moved to this house, we brought two dogs with us, acquired a dog from a neighbor within the first month of living here, lost a dog, and then acquired three more from various rescues shortly thereafter. Which brought us to a total of FIVE which was way too many with all we had going on with rescuing cats. After all five passed from age-related issues, we were dog-less for awhile. Then I came across a picture on the internet – and who could resist! This gal is just the best! Suffice it to say that all of my best buds – best dog, best cat, best friend and best husband – I have found on the internet! If you’ve had dogs, which one is/was your favorite ever?

Who is Siri?

So who am I, anyway? A question that many of us spend a lifetime trying to figure out . . .
The older I get, the more introspective I have become. On the surface, I love baking and flower gardening, reading, staying fit and being an introvert – hunkering down at home and feeling cozy. As I reflect on these hobbies, I realize I like to create and cultivate pleasing things – be they flowers or desserts – to keep my world in order, under my control, and pleasing to my eye. I spend quite a bit of time reading, often gravitating to the stories where the protagonist overcomes some sort of trauma – clearly a reflection of my childhood. I work hard to stay active and fit, finding a great release in physical activities such as karate and the punching bag. And I love my home of 30+ years, a quiet, comforting environment where I can feel nurtured and safe. A number of deep things going on there, but then, don’t we all have some kind of trauma we struggle to overcome?
I feel both appreciative and accomplished – a nice double whammy. After heading in several different directions, I was ever so fortunate to have built and led a rescue organization for 20+ years that saved 12,000+ cats. Not everyone gets to have a career that they love while working out of their home, and in the process meet not only their soulmate (as in hubby), but to make some amazing lifelong friends.
I have written a book about my experiences (Rescue Meez, very pleased with it); gotten my black belt (just recently, in my 60’s); and am finally in a place where I feel comfortable slowing down enough to appreciate the little things. I am also very proud that despite a family history of alcoholism that stretches miles and miles back through the generations, I have broken with tradition. As much as I bake, this was not necessarily a piece of cake, and has made an enormous difference in my search for happiness.
I look forward to sharing my recent-found love of life through nature, culinary arts, great books and appreciation of the world around us.