Matchmaking 101

Alfonso P. Wallabee & Basil

Alfonso P. Wallabee & Basil

So you’re looking for another cat. But there are so many, and you’re just not sure which one – how to begin?

First thing to do is to look at both your reasons for getting a cat, followed closely by whether you already have cats and need to match to their personalities, and if not, whether you’re getting just one cat or a pair.

Thinking about the future and the fact you’re making a 5-15 year commitment, depending on the age of the cat you choose, goes without saying. Rescues and Shelters obviously want to avoid the revolving door syndrome of animals being adopted out only to be returned a few years later when lifestyles change, so give careful thought to what the future holds for you and your family when you consider what age cat to bring into the home. If you’re retiring in five years and plan to travel, there’s nothing wrong with welcoming a geezer into your home now who may only have a few years left! That’s a few wonderful loving years he might not otherwise have!

If you have no other pets and only want one, you are the dream adopter. While many people think that cats get lonely if you’re gone during the day, many Siamese are purrfectly happy to be the Queen or King of the household. In our experience, females in particular do very well as the only cat. However, only cat situations ONLY work if there is ample human attention. Siamese are NOT a breed well suited for just being left alone for hours on end. If that is your lifestyle, then a pair is much more likely to be successful. (And kittens? They do much better in pairs as they learn critical behavioral skills from each other).

Siamese females, seals and torties in particular, often have very Diva personalities. While Divas can certainly coexist with other cats very well, in the right situation, they often do extremely well as the only cat with the right person. That person would be one who wants a very tight bond with a fairly supreme being, a feline being that is likely to be challenging, moody, independent, intelligent, demanding, easily put out when things don’t go her way, a bit spicey, and often a great conversationalist. They also know your routine, expect you to follow it, don’t normally take well to changes, and let you know, in no uncertain terms, if things aren’t acceptable. They’ll make a point, and not always in the most appropriate ways – the new husband who doesn’t like cats may find his briefcase soaked; the couple who closes this gal out of the bedroom for some private time may find a present waiting outside their bedroom door.

Of course, there are many, many of us that have had numerous females at the same time quite successfully. Sometimes you get bonding, sometimes you get coexistence (not always peaceful), and sometimes you get down and out hatred. The latter seems to occur frequently when you have two gals, similar in a dominant or confident personality style, close in age. When both vie for the throne, all hell can break loose, and no matter how many litterboxes you have, it just ain’t enough. And people think spayed females won’t spray. Been there, done that.

Choose a male, however, and you’re likely to have a completely different experience. No, they may not be top of their class, but they sure are on top of your lap, and often anyone else’s lap that visits. Males are often the easy going, happy go lucky, go with the flow type cat that aren’t nearly as likely to get their nose bent out of joint. Will they slot into any household? Not necessarily, that somewhat depends on who else is in that household, furry and otherwise. As long as you don’t have two dominant / similarly outgoing male personalities close in age vieing for top spot on the totem pole, you can have a wonderfully bonded pair of cats. You also are much more likely to find a purrsonality that teaches children the wonders of Siamese ownership, for they often adore their young charges, following them everywhere, playing fetch, sleeping on the bed, happy with whatever is offered, easy with the mild chaos that can occur in a home with small kids. They tend to adapt to change with a bit less concern, are often the ‘meeters and greeters’ at the front door, and if you’re absolutely set on a lap cat, a male is probably the way to go. However, err with two or more boys, same age, both challenging each other, and you’ll be investing in Nature’s Miracle.

So is it an only cat? If so, choose your personality preference, study your points, think about your lifestyle, and ask lots of questions. Whichever sex you choose, remember Siamese are very people oriented, and do expect equal billing in the household – they are way more than ‘just the cat’.

But what if you have other felines? New additions become a little trickier. Adding cats is a geometric experience, it’s not linear. Each addition has the potential to rock the hierarchy already in existence. So plan carefully.

First of all, consider your reasons. Are you searching out a family addition because you have one cat that is very lonely? Perhaps they’ve recently lost a friend, or perhaps they’re the ‘third wheel’? Are you looking for something that you are not getting from your existing cat-relationship? Or maybe you’re one of the few looking to help one of the less adoptable cats be comfortable for whatever time they have left?

Obviously, if you’re working to match a cat with one existing cat, you need a cat friendly cat. Opposite sex is often the best way to go, even if the cat you have now previously coexisted with same sex. Bringing in a new feline is challenging at best, and you don’t want to displace or usurp your existing kitty’s position. Going with opposite sex allows you to pair a similar personality, without challenging the dominant position. Think about the personality characteristics of your current feline friend. Are they outgoing and confident? Playful and busy? Active and curious? Then they need another cat displaying similar traits. Are they shy? A bit frightened of new things? Do they hide or show other insecurities? If so, be sure to bring in an easy going, cat-loving friend, who will seek and offer affection. The match to be careful of is a very dominant, confident or pushy cat who may well take advantage of one with a fearful nature, resulting in a pariah cat situation. And please remember – just because cats are siblings, that can mean nothing. For all of you that have siblings, think about whether you’d get along with them 24/7. Not always.

If you have a household of cats, consider carefully before you add another one. Remember the geometric thing. It’s true. Additions (and losses) within the household can force a revamp of the hierarchical structure, and there have been numerous cases of one of the cats (not necessarily the new one) becoming the victim kitty when this shift occurs. Once a victim kitty situation develops, it’s very difficult to correct, for the ‘fear smell’ emitted by the frightened one can actually trigger aggression by the others.

So what age or sex is the easiest on all? The popular answer to this is kittens, because kittens don’t yet know their place in the world and everyone likes kittens, including most adult cats (geezers can be another story all together). While introducing a kitten may seem easy as pie, you’re often only postponing the inevitable. Remember that much research indicates kittens get their personalities primarily from the father, and this personality doesn’t emerge in full until they reach sexual maturity, at or about 8 months to a year. Kittens can be considered time bombs waiting to go off – when they get older, their dominant traits may take charge and challenge those with whom they previously coexisted. Hence why if you look in the public shelters, you’ll see a predominance of cats in the one to two year range – cats who, when that personality did come to light, no longer fit the picture.

A word of warning to those with Geezer cats in their household who plan to introduce a kitten. Geezers have earned their spot in the world. They want that sunny window, their bowl of kibbles, and some a quiet existence. What they usually don’t want is a pesky bundle of fur pouncing on their tail, climbing all over them, eating their food; relentless energy constantly disrupting their afternoon nap. Many a family has found that their geezer actually goes into decline with the addition of a very active or young cat, as the stress of it is just too much.

On the other hand, introducing a Geezer is often one of the easiest things to do. Geezers are normally past the point of worrying about a spot on the totem pole, they simply want a spot to relax. They normally don’t have any politics, are just looking for a little love and attention, and the ‘respect the elder’ philosophy emanates as they amble through their new home tracking the sunbeam.

Please remember that more is not always better. We love our kitties like crazy. We know how much time they need from us, how much they can cost if they get sick, how much of an impact they can have on our environment. Be realistic about what you can do, and don’t overdo it, for everyone suffers in the end.

Finally, know that these are all generalizations, based on our 20 some years of matching 12,000 cats to every type of home imaginable, with a very low return rate. That doesn’t mean the exceptions don’t exist. We have all, myself included, had situations which defy the norm – two females same age tightly bonded for instance. So there’s no doubt it can sometimes work. The key? Take the time to learn about the personality of a new cat or cats, and consider the match to any existing felines before you commit.